I am feeling helpless to do anything and worry that even if I try to do something productive that I will just mess it up. I try talking to people I love and just seem to say the wrong things or get angry. I want to connect but my mind isn't stringing words together in thoughtful ways. Support becomes interference, a chat talk on the phone becomes a gripe session, and just trying to catching up is a chore that is more exhausting than it should be.
Sitting around inside as opposed to getting out for a while feels awkward but it is terribly cold. Wind chills have been in the negative digits so even walking outside in the breeze is painful. I have been getting my runs in just fine but today I can't find it in myself to do anything except sit like a bump.
What has given me a real smile this morning is The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Please don't tell me that is woman is really some type of mean snob. I really enjoy her humor, her compassion for others seems genuine and she is a vegan. I find myself smiling even just watching people dance on her show. I like the rapport she has with her DJ and the rest of her on air staff. Her guests seem thrilled to be there and she looks like she is having the time of her life. I don't like sitting around but am glad to watch Ellen's show when I have to.
I have also been reading a bunch of other folk's blogs. My eyes are tired and I have a bit of a headache but it's nice catching up and getting acquainted with what is going on with some other people with whom I share interests.
The meteorological winter has set in and because I have been out in it too much or picked up a little something while trapped indoors with so many people, today is a chill day for me.
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